Stepping Into an Unfair Life

I’ve reached the obvious conclusion about my life: It’s not fair.

I don’t mean that in a general sense. My family has faced an unusual amount of difficulties over the past eleven years, piling up, one on top of the other. Mounting bills, constant setbacks, loss of jobs, loss of homes, loss of income, loss of reputation, loss of family and friends. Plus other more severe problems that I can’t even go into.

Meanwhile, we see that most other families don’t face this level of hardship and we’re amazed at our ongoing problems. We’re one of those handful of families who seem to always struggle, year after year, with no relief in sight.

That’s not just our opinion. Our remaining family and friends have also been surprised, noting that we seem to go through a surprising number of hardships. A close family member said it seems like we just need a break.

We’re constantly wondering why these things keep happening to us. Every time we hope to get ahead, some new hindrance puts us behind. When I try to make extra money or position myself better by doing things that have worked well for others, those strategies always seem to fail miserably for me. When we find an opportunity to finally make progress, some new emergency pushes our plans aside and demands all of our immediate attention instead. At best, we seem to barely break even and keep ourselves afloat.
My life simply isn’t fair.

But at Christmas time, I’m reminded that my unfair life includes God, as a father and counselor and friend. God made himself a human being and stepped into the center of life’s cruelty to be with me. To help me. To heal me. To stay with me when I’m sad or grieving. To laugh and celebrate with me when I score some victory.

Am I always healed? No. Even in the Bible, there are times when people want healing and it doesn’t happen. The Apostle Paul demonstrated greater faith and trust in God than anyone I know, yet he advised his close friend, Timothy, to take a little wine at times for his “many ailments.” Both of these men exercised complete faith for God to heal people and they both performed plenty of miracles, so why would Timothy still have “many ailments?” Because life doesn’t always work exactly the way we want it to.

Am I always helped? Yes. If I trust and obey God, he always helps me when I need it. It might not be the kind of help I want. I might ask God for money to cover extra bills, and instead receive gifts of food or a space heater, or help fixing a car or washing machine. I might ask God to change the behavior of a friend or family member so we can have a better relationship, and find God showing me how to change mine instead. I might ask God to keep me in a certain house or job, only to discover he’s moving me into something better, though I don’t enjoy making the transition. But when I lean heavily on God for help, he helps me.

I’m also reminded at Christmas time that Jesus’ life certainly wasn’t fair. He came to love and serve others and point them back to a restored relationship with God, yet people wanted him to be a warrior or support their particular politics. Most of the people he came to help simply didn’t want to do things God’s ways, so they ultimately rejected God’s own son and had him killed.

Joseph and Mary didn’t have perfect lives, either. They received the greatest imaginable blessing, being chosen as the parents of the Messiah, the one destined to save humanity. Yet their baby was born in a barnyard trough, and then they had to flee from a king trying to kill their infant son. When Jesus was an adult, Mary had to watch him be sentenced as a criminal and executed on a shameful cross. The hard reality is that some of our greatest Bible heroes lived through some of the worst tragedies and hardships. We love learning about the blessings and miracles in their lives, but we never consider all the suffering they endured before, and sometimes after those wonderful events.

Meanwhile, God still blesses me. He’s not some Santa Claus in the sky, or a waiter taking my order. If I ask him for a Ferrari or a mansion home, he’s not going to give it to me just because I want it. He’s too smart and loves me too much to give me something that would only be a burden. Expensive cars and homes are wonderful for people who can afford them, and the high insurance and upkeep that comes with them. I’d rather get what I need and what I can handle.

But when I’m in desperate need, God doesn’t leave me hanging. He decided long ago to stay with me and never leave, no matter how bad my life gets, or what foolish decisions I make. And if I rely on him and do what he says, as my father in Heaven, he protects me, guides me, and takes care of me and those I love. Jesus continues to draw alongside me, giving me wisdom, support, comfort, and hope. He is “God with us.”

Always.

Merry Christmas.