RENAMING 5 Movies That Should Be Considered Christmas Movies and 5 Christmas Movies That Actually Aren’t
It’s December, that time of year when everyone continues to ask the same burning question: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie or not?
Which raises the natural question: what determines whether something should be considered a Christmas movie? Obviously, each person has their own opinion, but since this is my blog, here’s mine.
To be considered a Christmas movie, a film should contain the following:
- it should have something to do with the celebration of Christmas, in some small or large way.
- it should have some sort of Christmas message. That is, something that inspires hope or, ideally, redemption, in the spirit of Christmas.
- And also … no, that’s really all.
However, some movies are considered Christmas movies just because they have something “Christmas-y” in the title, or they are discarded as “not-Christmas” movies because they don’t. If we just change the titles to something more accurate, it all becomes clear.
With all that in mind, I propose that, while the following 5 films are excellent and fun to watch during the holidays, they should be renamed to avoid anyone thinking they are Christmas movies.
* * * * *
Christmas in Connecticut.
I saw this once, a few years ago. I don’t remember much of it, but what I remembered most was that, although it was funny, it had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. It’s about Elizabeth Lane, a columnist who writes about her home and family life on a farm while publishing lots of recipes for wonderful home-cooked meals – the Martha Stewart of her day. Unfortunately, it’s all fake. She has no farmhouse, no husband, no children, and she can’t cook. When an injured war hero, Jefferson, becomes a fan of her column, he asks to spend the holidays with her and her charming Connecticut family. Elizabeth’s publisher insists she accommodate him, not knowing that all the details in her column are made up. So she makes arrangements to secure a Connecticut farmhouse and a fake family to convince Jefferson her column is legitimate and avoid a career-ending scandal.
And … that’s it. It could have been called Easter in Connecticut, Independence Day Parade in Connecticut, or even Halloween Nightmare in Connecticut, and the story would still have come out pretty much the same way. (Maybe not if it was Halloween Nightmare in Connecticut, but close enough.)
New title: Scamming a Soldier in Connecticut.
* * * * *
Deck the Halls
Clearly, this movie takes place at Christmastime – when else would you be competing to have the best neon decorations on your front lawn? And it’s about – Christmas decorations. And how a new neighbor, Buddy, upsets the small town homeowner Steve with his obnoxiously bright and annoying decorations, to which he keeps adding more? Why? Because his dream in life is to have decorations that can be seen from space.
Since Steve doesn’t want decorations that irritating, he does everything he can to sabotage Buddy’s idiotic dream, and a war between the neighbors ensues.
Not really inspiring anyone to do anything nice for anyone during the holidays. Or to trust any new neighbors moving in.
New title: Deck Buddy.
* * * * *
Home Alone.
8-year old Kevin gets forgotten by his family when they pack up for a vacation with everyone else, leaving him to fend for himself, living it up on pizza and video games and defending himself against house robbers. Oh, and it takes place at Christmas time.
There’s a nice moment when Kevin gets encouragement from an older man at a church, which brings a sense of hope for his loneliness and fears. But after this brief scene, we return to the rest of the movie as if it never happened.
New title: Home Alone [which has nothing to do with Christmas]
* * * * *
White Christmas.
What??? How can you say that? It’s obviously a Christmas movie, because – well – because it’s right there in the title! And the title is of a famous Christmas song! This movie is full of Christmas! Plus, they wear Santa hats and give presents at the end, when they sing the title song a second time.
This is a great movie and a fantastic musical – one of the best. In spite of the green tuxedos. But it’s not a story of hope or redemption, but a romance, with lots of singing and dancing. It does have a powerful message, in Bing Crosby’s push to honor his former Army general. Which makes it a great Veteran’s Day movie. And that’s what it really is at its heart. No matter how many Santa hats they wear at the end of it.
New title: Veteran’s Day with Santa Hats
* * * * *
It’s a Wonderful Life.
Let’s be clear – I LOVE this movie. It remains an underrated and underappreciated film, especially as people choose to watch it less and turn to new “Christmas movie” traditions like “Elf”. Although this film is all about hope and redemption, and its climax comes at Christmastime, it’s not necessarily a Christmas movie. It’s actually a movie about life (it’s in the title). But the ending Christmas celebration makes people consider it a Christmas movie, and I’m glad they do, so that people will watch one of the best films ever made at least once a year.
New title: It’s a Wonderful Life [which means it happens all year long – even longer]
* * * * *
Now you may disagree, clinging to the above movies as part of your beloved Christmas tradition. And please feel free to do so. After all, each one of them does have some sort of Christmas celebration or reference in its story, even if it’s not really the central point or if the”Christmas” message is lacking.
But if we play that fast and loose with Christmas movies, then you can see how the following 5 films should certainly be considered Christmas movies.
* * * * *
The Sure Thing.
It’s not a family movie, or even an older teens movie. Except that the sexual references and subject matter would make some teens drop their cellphones and gather around to watch it. Though it seems like a mere skinflick comedy, this film actually delivers the opposite message. Carefree college freshman “Gib” reluctantly travels across the country with an uptight classmate, Allison, to spend their separate holidays in California. Gib plans to meet a girl for a one-night stand – a “sure thing”. But he doesn’t count on falling for Allison along the way. He ultimately discovers that a superficial night isn’t worth sacrificing the chance for a real relationship. Although it’s clearly an adult theme, it carries a strong redemptive message, especially with the way Gib gives up his juvenile dream in the end for the sake of being honest with the girl and himself.
New title: Are You Sure That’s What You Want for Christmas?
* * * * *
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
For one thing, this first Harry Potter film was released at Christmas. For another, it’s a charming film about a boy who’s abused by his own extended family, given the worst of everything, and always treated like he’s stolen the family silverware – again! His home life would make even Charles Dickens say, “Man, that kid’s got it rough.”
Until he discovers that – in a magical fantasy world – he’s admired and famous, wealthy, and is actually a powerful wizard. Attending the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry finds a new family of brilliant and accepting people, both peers and adults, and in the end discovers a new home away from home. It’s a strong message and hope, friendship, and love, with lots of fairy tale magic, in the face of foul hatred.
Most important, this message is driven home when 11-year old Harry learns from his new friend, Ron, that – for the first time ever – he has presents for Christmas! This moment alone makes it a wonderful Christmas film for the whole family.
New title: Harry Potter and the Magical Christmas Getaway from the Dursleys
* * * * *
Sleepless in Seattle.
Unable to fight his depression after losing his wife, Sam moves all the way to Seattle for a complete change. But his son, Jonah, calls in to a radio talk show with his Christmas wish for his father to be happy again. Annie hears the radio broadcast in Baltimore and feels strangely drawn to Sam as she hears him talk about his deep love for his wife. This moment and many others give a sense of Christmas fantasy romance that is more magical than most any romances you will find. I have been told this is really a Valentine’s Day film, since it concludes on Valentine’s Day at the Empire State Building. However, it can be viewed as both. And if you’re planning on sitting through yet another Hallmark Christmas romance, at least watch this first.
New title: Sleepless Christmas Eve in Seattle Wishing for a New Wife from the Other Side of the Country
* * * * *
Lethal Weapon.
Yes, this is a shoot-em-up action thriller, and has unnecessary nudity in the first five minutes along with the first appearance of Martin Riggs. It also has disturbing kidnapping and torture scenes, along with a brutal fight at the end, for no real reason.
Nevertheless, it’s also a brilliant film with a powerful redemptive message, as Martin struggles to find a reason to live after losing his wife. He’s become too dangerous for any other cops to partner with, so straight-laced, middle-aged detective Roger Murtaugh gets saddled with him. But after Martin saves Roger’s life with his mad skills (some would say, psychotic), Roger invites him to family dinner. It’s instantly clear that Martin is not used to being welcomed into the home of a healthy, loving family. His growing friendship with Roger helps him realize that his life has value, and after all the bullets have been fired, he settles down to a new life, enjoying Christmas with Roger’s family.
New title: A Gun-Toting Suicidal Partner for Christmas
* * * * *
While You Were Sleeping.
If you only add one of these movies to your holiday line-up, make it this one. It’s a perfect romcom, but it’s also a perfect Christmas romance. When Lucy gets stuck working on Christmas day, she rescues Peter, the guy she’s been secretly crushing on, after thieves knock him out and leave him on subway tracks. Through a series of mix-ups, Peter’s family comes to believe that he and Lucy are engaged, and Lucy doesn’t have the heart to tell them it’s not true. Especially when they invite her to spend Christmas with them, and Lucy begins to fall in love with Peter’s family, having been alone since her father died. She soon falls for Peter’s brother, Jack, making matters both better and worse. In the end, Lucy finds a new romance but also a new family to enjoy the holidays with, giving a wonderful message of hope and love, as well as romantic redemption when she must finally come clean.
New title: Crashing Your Family Dinner While You Slept Through Christmas
* * * * *
So there you have it.
But wait, you say. You missed one. In fact, you missed the one! The movie that started all this controversy! Is Die Hard a Christmas movie or not???
Well, it takes place at Christmas, and references Christmas all through the film. In fact, it starts out like a Hallmark Christmas romance, before everyone breaks out their submachine guns. And Bruce Willis has a brief, 60-second moment of redemption near the end when he decides he should have been more supportive of his wife. So it’s got some Christmas stuff in it. Sort of. Along with a lot of gunfire and explosions and four-letter words.
So is it a Christmas movie?
Is Pluto a planet?
Is a tomato a vegetable?
I can neither confirm nor deny that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. If you feel it is, or you feel it isn’t, you’re probably right. If you celebrate Christmas every year by watching Hans Gruber fall from the top of Nakatomi Plaza, I wholeheartedly respect your tradition. Just don’t insist that other people or Bruce Willis agree with you. And no guns at the dinner table.
New title: Christmas Dies Hard. [whatever that means]
Keep believing.
Ho, ho, ho!
